Two Headed Shark Attack (2012)
2 Headed Shark Attack on Netflix
Check your brain at the door for this one. The shark roars.
Accepting the fact that even porn actors need to get paid for roles that don't involve a lot of towels (and ignoring the fact that I could be wrong and called a bunch of starving artist actors that hate restaurant work porn stars), you may need intoxicants to really enjoy this. It was almost enjoyably bad. At least three of the kids are over 30, and it's one thing to maintain your body and intentionally try to look young, but eighteen year old models and thirty year old models do not look alike.
Watching this, it may have illuminated the appeal some gorehounds find in horror films, though, something I hesitate to admit on the internet lest the director thinks he just did me a favour. It's not the lack of intelligence we enjoy as part of the body count-- it's the ones who panic, those people who freak out at the first sign of trouble that we don't miss. I don't know about anyone else, but if a character in the horror genre can survive the whole film, to me they've moved beyond panic and dumb luck, and proved that they do have a brain. And a strong stomach. That's the person I want to fight a two-headed shark with.
Syfy level computer animation, but it's more entertaining than the live action. It really builds in the end, if you want to cheer the shark. As if the shark is cleaning up this hot mess of crappy acting for us.
I really can't get past the shark roaring. Next it'll be a cyber-shark, which will have DTS quality roars, and a chainsaw for a tail. (I'd probably still watch it.)
Would you watch it again? With friends. Who bought an entire pitcher of margaritas. For me.
Would you own it? No.
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