The ABCS of Death (2012)
The ABCs of Death on Netflix
26 short stories. Multiple languages. Multiple formats (including claymation). Keyword known only after the vignette is done.
Dude, some of these are just bizarre. Capital B with a side of 'Tampopo' bizarre. Some day I'll forget D and Z. Just not any time soon.
Some of them don't allow for explanation, which mostly works, and I hate to admit that I was laughing at the end of K, but I was.
I fast-forwarded through the rest of P as soon as I saw the cat. Look. I'm not squeamish. Vampires are my favourite monster. I love a good blood bath. (Edward can go fuck himself, but at least I read the books before I hated him even more on screen. Because if I'm going to pass judgement and hate on him and his "vampires" and the series, I have to read/watch it first. And I did. So fuck you, Edward.) I do not enjoy animal cruelty. I'm more likely to cross a street and defend an animal being attacked, than a human. It's not personal. I like them more, and their reasoning is often not the same as ours, so if I've got to be the swift kick of justice with someone of my own species, I will be. Especially cats. I have cats. I've had cats for many years. I will continue to have cats. They're smart and affectionate, and also demonic little buggers when so inclined, and that's why I love them. So a horror film that brings out an animal and then proceeds to destroy it will instantly land on my shit list. If it's a cat, the director is definitely not welcome to dinner.
I'll come back to this when I take on 'Cannibal Holocaust,' I'm sure.
A note to Ti West, as he did M, and I seem to be on a streak: Stephen King and Alfred Hitchcock. Study them. I'll be by next week with a test. I know you don't care what one random nerd thinks about the work that's getting you way more pots of cash than I'll ever see, but whatever. The only way I'll ever get through 'Innkeepers' is if there's a Rifftrax to go with it.
Would I watch it again? No.
Would I own it? No.
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