'The Bay' on Netflix
A serious gripe I want to get off my chest, now that the found footage genre is officially a genre: tell us when it's found footage genre. It's not that I'm tired of it; a little innovation thrills me, in fact, but if I have to watch professional cameramen pretend to be shaky-handed amateurs instead of a film shot on a ten thousand dollar camera, warn me in advance, dammit.
Although, this film might be more of amateurs being amateurs without the ten thousand dollar camera. Doesn't matter. When a film makes you miss James Cameron's cinematography work, it's time to discuss quality vs. quantity.
Strange narration style. The main character/narrator is awkward in her delivery, and it's either the actress or the director's fault. I don't care either way, to be honest, but character says they should have hired a professional to narrate the footage. I agree.
Make-up effects aren't bad. Actors aren't awful. Dialogue is stilted because it tries too hard to be natural and off the cuff.
It's just... this could have been a great story. Remove the preachy Greenpeace tone about pollution and the evil of human works, carve the clunky parts out, and make the experts more like actual experts.
When I shifted my Roku to free a DVD mid-movie, it cut out and flashed a "content disabled' warning in a 1980s emergency broadcast style font... it's too bad that wasn't part of the film.
Here, have a palate cleanser. I give you Mike Rowe vs. giant bells:
Would I watch it again? No.
Would I own it? Oh god no.
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